Although some people like, Yo Yo Ma believe that incorporating art with STEM is a good idea some believe the idea does not hold sufficient enough evidence that it will work. Using art with STEM is an unrealistic attempt to strengthen education. Education involving STEM is based on fact and innovation not emotions and feelings that art brings. Some people believe art has no basis being involved in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics while, Yo Yo Ma states, “the values behind arts, integration-collaborartion, flexible thinking, and disciplined imagination-lead to the capacity to innovate”. Yo Yo Ma believes that art and the values art spreads can help people become innovative. Yo Yo Ma’s ideals about art and education do not relate to one another that much because in the STEM fields using art will most likely not help people become more innovative, it could backfire and lead education down a bad path. Education and art together have many people conflicted over whether it will be a good idea to infuse them or not.
You have a lot of great points in your paragraph, but it might be a little out of order. Perhaps in the very beginning introduce your argument before introducing Yo-yo Ma. I like the connection you made with stem and how it’s based on innovation and fact and that contradicts the incorporation of art; maybe make that your topic sentence. Also, the quote you used might need a little more explaining or relation to your argument. I love the quote, I just think you could use it a little more to your advantage if you elaborate on it. GREAT POST!
I really like the way that you start off your blog. I think that the quote you pulled from Ma’s paper really helps support your argument and goes nicely with your blog as a whole. I like how you explain how you think art would not work with the STEM system and that art has no business in the educational world.
I think you had a really good grasp on this assignment! I agree with Jon that the order may be off but the points you made were strong. You integrated Yo-Yo Ma’s quote very smoothly and you were able to give enough background on his main idea along side your own.